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Dear Friends,
| It is my pleasure to invite you all to attend the upcoming 'Shopping Carts-to-Reefs Program and Symposium'. On behalf of the Ocean Outfall Group, I am absolutely delighted about our new campaign, designed to lessen the financial impact to American supermarkets, Home Depots, Walmarts and other big-box stores when their shopping cart fleets wear out. With our innovative Carts-to-Reefs program, hundreds of thousands of homeless men and woman will be able to dispose of their old transportation and belonging transporters right down at the beach, without fear of reprisal from angry supermarket security guards or local police agencies- while creating habitat for marine life in the near-shore environment! The brainchild of a group of supermarket and big box store magnates and several scientists on their payroll, the new Carts-to-Reefs program was developed from an ever-evolving science. It's first incarnation was Tin Cans-to-Reefs, then soon came the still fondly remembered Appliances-to-Reefs, which enabled many families to create marine habitat even as they bought newer, more energy-efficient refrigerators, freezers, dishwashers and washer-dryers. Sometimes it didn't work out, as we found with the Clothes Hangers-to-Reefs, Animal By-products-to-Reefs and the ill-fated Sugar-Cube and Dirt-Clod to-Reefs pilot programs, but in the end, perseverance paid off, as were the scientists who gave their endorsements to the idiotic notion that it could somehow be beneficial to the Ocean to use it as a dumping ground for industrial waste. Hope to see you all there, and remember our slogan for the Shopping Carts-to-Reefs program and symposium: "Waste is a terrible thing to mind!" Joey Racano, Director Ocean Outfall Group Carts-to-Reefs Project Coordinator www.stopthewaiver.com |
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